You Know Things Aren't What They Used to Be When you wake up feeling great and everyone tells you how tired you look. When you go to see the dermatologist to check a mole and he asks where you want the Botox. When a thirty-year-old guy arrives at a party and doesn't even glance at you. When you can guess from his personality what kind of a lover he is. When the President of France is younger than you. When you have more hangovers than actual parties. When in all honesty you'd rather have sex in bed than in the shower. When you go to the gym to do cardio, and no longer just to work on your abs. When you find yourself putting on makeup every day. When you think you look good in a photo of yourself at twenty that until now you'd always thought was terrible. When you no longer know who all the hip actors or singers are. When someone says you have a sexy gaze, but you're actually just squinting because you don't want to get your glasses out. When you tell someone you've known them since they were in diapers. When you share an anecdote from ten years ago and realize it's actually been twenty. When you'd rather go to bed early to make the most of the next day. When you start finding biographies fascinating. When you're just excited to go home. When your colleague was born the same year you graduated. When people no longer ask if you plan on having another baby. When a young woman says she hopes to look like you someday. When you go to the ob-gyn for mammograms rather than birth control. When you feel an ache somewhere and fear it might be the beginning of the end. When one of your eyes is smaller than the other. When selecting your year of birth on a website means scrolling down forever. When the face ID on your cellphone doesn't recognize you in the morning. When you're told that you're "damn hot for your age." When you smile at the naïveté of a young woman's remark, whereas before you would have just found her stupid. When you think that's a pillow mark on your cheek, but it's still there a week later. Excerpted from Older, but Better, but Older: From the Authors of How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are by Caroline De Maigret, Sophie Mas All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.